Help please!! How do i chat up a girl, so she will go out with me?

Im a 27 year old man and i have never had a proper girlfriend the only type of relationships ive had are horrible flings with girls i didnt really like but threw themselves at me! I think ive learned from them not to sleep with someone you dont want a relationship with. Ive recently lost some weight and have been going out with my mates on 'the pull'. They always seem to get these gorgeous girls and i dont know how? Im attracted to girls in their early 20's and try to talk to them but it always feels awkward like im auditioning to b their mate. Im a funny guy but i dont think it comes across coz i have an out there personality and unless you know me it seems nuts!! When im chatting 2a girl, sometimes the talking stops and it feels awkward and i dont know what to say?? When should i try and kiss her or ask her out? It might b2soon or she mite laugh and say no way!! My friends say im a good looking guy but i am losing some hair? Advice please, I want a girlfriend? Why is it so difficult?Help please!! How do i chat up a girl, so she will go out with me?
**THIS IS GOOD STUFF:**

First of all, calm down. One of the biggest turn-offs for a girl is a guy who seems nervous. Girls like a guy who isn't so confident that he is arrogant, but is a real man. BUT, the BIGGEST turn-off is a guy who seems desperate. I hate it when guys throw themselves at me and ask me all of these awkward questions, just like you don't like it when girls do that to you. It takes time to find someone who you really care about, but it is a lot more rewarding. You seem like a nice person, just don't be so desperate, play it cool, and things will come naturally.

If you want to know about what you should talk about, just say funny stuff. Don't bombard the poor girl with all of these questions about herself so fast. Wait until she starts telling stuff to you. She will feel pretty awkward at first unless you crack jokes and make her laugh. As far as the whole kissing thing, you should wait at least until after the first couple of dates before you full-out kiss her, OR until she makes the first move. But, really you should be the one to make the first move. So good luck, I hope that I have helped, and just remember that it isn't that difficult, just don't be so desperate.Help please!! How do i chat up a girl, so she will go out with me?
be your self and any girl who dont like you for that isn't the girl for you