I've always had a problem with girls. I can talk to them fine if they are in a class of mine, or if they are a random peer. I CANNOT in any way, shape or form approach a girl I do not know or have never seen before, if its a girl I see on the bus,skytrain etc. I've been told by many people I'm extremely good looking, that I should attempt getting into the movies, or model. Apparently girls my age are ';intimidated'; by me and I completely hate it.
There are the ';party'; type girls who have had many boyfriends, are high maintenance and tend to have slept around with alot of guys; these girls always take interest in me and want to talk to me and put out on me, but I am NOT attracted to these types of girls WHAT-SO-EVER. I think they are extremely shallow and am not attracted to them in any way.
Then there are the girls who don't put out, the ones who seem innocent and aren't really popular or known, but are very mature and have high morals. I always seem to be attracted to these girls. It seems IMPOSSIBLE for me to get with one as in a relationship. I've come across many cute looking girls on the skytrain or bus, in the past I tried to initiate conversation, but it seems like I end up scaring them or creeping them out (thats what it seems like to me) and it just doesn't work.
Now up until recently, I completely gave up and lost all motivation to even talk to girls. There has been times lately where a real cute looking girl who looks just like my type comes along and sits right beside me on the bench waiting for the bus, smiling at me- Now a days I don't even bother saying anything and sometimes I cant help myself but to give them a ';dirty'; look, and when we go our different ways I regret it and ask myself why the hell did I do that. In these situations, the girls tend to be a few years older than I am, because NOBODY thinks I'm my real age.
So I'm 16. I average an age of between 22-24. A problem I'd admit, is I grew up much too fast, I live on my own already. all due to my upbringing. I'm 5'9 190 lbs with almost NO FAT, I'm a health nut. I go to the gym 7 days a week and have been doing so since I was 14.Almost everyone at my gym thinks I take steroids, but I would never. I don't drink, I don't do any drugs. I live a very healthy and active lifestyle. I just can't relate to most girls who are my age, who are usually shallow and immature.
What advice can you give me, reading all of this? I'm at wits end and I just completely gave up. I refuse to sleep around at parties with drunk girls. By looking at me, you would think I'm a player. and I tend to always get stereotyped this just by my looks.
(I know life isn't about chatting girls up etc, but I've recently started getting a bit lonely and would enjoy sharing my life with someone who deserved it)
Any advice, please. I really don't know what more I can doI need advice, and I need to know what I'm doing wrong with how to get into a relationship with a girl?
You're right not to be pursuing the high-maintenance party girls that sleep around. Women (or, for that matter, men) that have been with a lot of guys typically have emotional stability issues that prevent them from succeeding in long-term relationships. Or they're still just young and immature. They're probably also more likely to cheat on you.
Your problem sounds like you grew up a lot faster than the people around you. All you can really do is date older women that are OK with your age, or just wait. A lot of the time a woman worth your time will come to you if you wait long enoughI need advice, and I need to know what I'm doing wrong with how to get into a relationship with a girl?
I admire both your morals and your honesty, especially considering your age. You are not alone in feeling awkward with the opposite sex in social situations, whether they would admit it or not I suspect most guys feel similarly awkward. My advice would be either to go out with male friends in a group and watch them interacting with girls, or to 'practise' talking to girls you don't necessarily feel attracted to. The answer here is to get as much practise talking to girls as possible. It doesn't have to be a lengthy conversation, you could start small by smiling and saying hi. The important thing is to not be fake in any way as insincerity is easy to pick up on and a definite turn off. All relationships start somewhere and I'm sure a decent person such as yourself will soon meet a girl with similar values. I wish you luck, and happiness.
well, i think you might wanna wait a while (like till you're 18 or something, i know, it's gonna be tough) before you start looking for a girlfriend, cuz as you said, girls your age are still kinda immature, so it'll just be a waste of time. But if it's about sharing your life, maybe having a female friend (not necessarily a girlfriend) would a good substitute, and it's somewhat easier to get into a friendship rather than an intimate relationship (that's out of experience). The important thing for now is not to let anything lower your self-esteem; from what i read, it doesn't sound that there's anything wrong with you, so there isn't much that you can do.
';I CANNOT in any way, shape or form approach a girl I do not know or have never seen before.';
This is pretty normal. Few people feel comfortable approaching strangers, and that's actually a pretty good thing. It can make people uncomfortable if someone they don't know approaches them out of the blue.
You say you can approach random peers or girls in your class... so why not try talking to them? You don't need to pull a girlfriend from thin air. It's better if it's someone you actually know, so you have some chance of evaluating if you'll be compatible.
Stick to your age group. You think you're more mature, and maybe you are in some ways, but that doesn't mean you're ready to be dating 20+-year-olds. Not all girls your age are shallow/immature; in fact, you're probably overlooking a lot of the ones that aren't, because they aren't as flashy and don't stand out enough. I know you don't want to be judged by your age, but I'm only 17 so I'm not judging. :) It's just not a very good way to meet people at this point in your life. Try joining clubs and organizations and meeting girls that way. I met my first boyfriend at SAT prep class, and we are still very close. Oh, and by the way, my first relationship wasn't until I was 16, so don't worry, your biological clock is not ticking in any way.
Just try, please try, to relax a bit about this whole thing. Your first relationship will be more meaningful if you don't seek it out.
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