How do I build up enough confidence to approach girls I dont know like on the city bus?

I'm going to say my age at the bottom when you're done reading, or alot of you won't give me the chance to read what I just typed up.





I've always had a problem with girls. I can talk to them fine if they are in a class of mine, or if they are a random peer. I CANNOT in any way, shape or form approach a girl I do not know or have never seen before, if its a girl I see on the bus,skytrain etc. I've been told by many people I'm extremely good looking, that I should attempt getting into the movies, or model. Apparently girls my age are ';intimidated'; by me and I completely hate it.





There are the ';party'; type girls who have had many boyfriends, are high maintenance and tend to have slept around with alot of guys; these girls always take interest in me and want to talk to me and put out on me, but I am NOT attracted to these types of girls WHAT-SO-EVER. I think they are extremely shallow and am not attracted to them in any way.





Then there are the girls who don't put out, the ones who seem innocent and aren't really popular or known, but are very mature and have high morals. I always seem to be attracted to these girls. It seems IMPOSSIBLE for me to get with one as in a relationship. I've come across many cute looking girls on the skytrain or bus, in the past I tried to initiate conversation, but it seems like I end up scaring them or creeping them out (thats what it seems like to me) and it just doesn't work.





Now up until recently, I completely gave up and lost all motivation to even talk to girls. There has been times lately where a real cute looking girl who looks just like my type comes along and sits right beside me on the bench waiting for the bus, smiling at me- Now a days I don't even bother saying anything and sometimes I cant help myself but to give them a ';dirty'; look, and when we go our different ways I regret it and ask myself why the hell did I do that. In these situations, the girls tend to be a few years older than I am, because NOBODY thinks I'm my real age.





So I'm 16. I average an age of between 22-24. A problem I'd admit, is I grew up much too fast, I live on my own already. all due to my upbringing. I'm 5'9 190 lbs with almost NO FAT, I'm a health nut. I go to the gym 7 days a week and have been doing so since I was 14.Almost everyone at my gym thinks I take steroids, but I would never. I don't drink, I don't do any drugs. I live a very healthy and active lifestyle. I just can't relate to most girls who are my age, who are usually shallow and immature.





What advice can you give me, reading all of this? I'm at wits end and I just completely gave up. I refuse to sleep around at parties with drunk girls. By looking at me, you would think I'm a player. and I tend to always get stereotyped this just by my looks.





(I know life isn't about chatting girls up etc, but I've recently started getting a bit lonely and would enjoy sharing my life with someone who deserved it)





Any advice, please. I really don't know what more I can doHow do I build up enough confidence to approach girls I dont know like on the city bus?
you just described yourself as the perfect guy.


are you tryinggg to get somebody off here? :D





i think you should just practice more confidence in talking to them, it will soon grow and you'll get more comfortable. besides, being a little nervous is attractive too. its not overly pushy and still approachable.


good luck!How do I build up enough confidence to approach girls I dont know like on the city bus?
try talking to girls ur age, if you go for the older ones at your age the will get arrested for having sex with a minor
i used to be in much the same position mate..not gona lie i went from being the player type when i was younger, got around and regretted it later on down the line. but i generated such a reputation for myself that when it finally came to wanting a relationship, no girl would even look at me twice! in much the same way i completely lost confidence in myself, and went from being with many different girls to none. end of the day it made me realise alot about myself.


slowly ive managed to regenerate my confidence, in a different light though.


you shouldnt see approaching a girl as a task to simply obtaining her number etc, something as simple as holding a door, offering your seat but making sure your confident in your approach, you want to make sure she remembers you


but what you must remember is that everybody is near enough the same, while your sitting there struggling to come up with any means to spark conversation, she may well be doing the same. so go for it! what is there to lose?


some of these girls you may only have a short chance to make an impression upon, so even if the confidence at first comes as a pretense to some extent, throw yourself in at the deep end!


confidence is attractive, not *********!
First of all: don't give up. Yeah, i know it sounds lame but a lot of us would love to be approached by a guy like you. Maybe it's just me, but you really sound like the perfect guy. Because, indeed, there are girls out there who would like to meet guys who are not party animals and can have a normal conversation. For the part where you're supposedly scaring all the girls you talk to, maybe it's not your fault. I mean, i'm a girl and I do tend to be scared when a stranger talks to me. That's just the way it is :P So i guess the girls are scared not by you, but by the fact that you're engaging a conversation even though you don't know them. If that's the case i would suggest you to try to make the girl at ease, try to say something nice about her or say something funny, i don't know, just try to make her feel that you're not a bad person. The best way to build up confidence is socializing, The more you talk to girls, the easier it will become ; )
well according to most of my friends i am one of these quiet, mature girls you are describing, all i can suggest is that when you try talk to them make sure you sound genuinely interested and sincere and just persist!


we are not the best type of people for small talk, its not really our strong suit, but honestly if you keep trying we soon become more confident and will be happy to get to know people it just takes a little longer than with the ';party girls'; as we are more cautious.


As for the bit about ';scaring them or creeping them out';, i guarantee you that your not creeping them out you may be intimidating them a little because they are probably surprised you even want to talk to them, if you look the way you describe they probably don't think they even stand a chance or that your interrogating them for some reason! Just take it slowly and laugh and smile a lot, obviously not like a hysterical 12 year old girl, just enough to keep the mood light hearted so that she ends up laughing as well.





Seriously don't give up on trying to attract this type of girl, but i guarantee it will be more difficult as you point out they don't ';put out'; like the other girls! we tend to go for guys that we know will be committed rather than random short lived flings, so we test the waters a bit before we show the guy how interested we really are. Good Luck, feel free to send a message if you need any more tips


xx
Dude if you got the looks just talk to a chick its very simple. Just open with a hi, hows your day going, im so and so, bla bla bla. Just man up and start talking.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath and leap into it. You can only be motivated so much but eventually you actually have to act. It might take a bit to build yourself up but you are the one who has to act.





When it comes right down to it, right down to the biggest, hardest decision, you need to leap at it.





So how do you build up enough confidence?


When the chance is right in front of you, close your eyes, take in a deep breath, open your eyes and just do it. Don't hesitate or stop at all, just go for it.





When it starts, it won't stop until it ends. G'luck.